1. In the space
between heaven and hell
lies a ‘you’ and a ‘me’
2. Between today and tomorrow
soft lips will meet for the
very first time and ribs
will be cracked open and
people will fall and all this
will not hurt. Not yet.
3. A moment exists
between life and death
and that moment is
The anger that had been fading out of Kira began to well up inside of him again at his former captain’s words. The shock was fading away, but Kira was starting to get frustrated. “Do you think I’m an idiot?” Kira sighed and turned his back to Gin, taking a few steps in the opposite direction before turning back around.
"I’m not a good liar, no. But I’m not an idiot." Kira walked back towards Gin and rammed a finger into his chest. "Only remembering the good? Forgetting what you put me through? No, I remember everything. Everything. The good and the bad. You think I can’t put two and two together? When you were gone I had a lot of time to fucking think. That’s all I did. I understand that the only reason we met was because I was suitable for Aizen’s schemes. I was moldable, I listened to orders, and I was alone. That’s why we met, I get that.”
Kira withdrew his finger and took back to pacing. He couldn’t stand still, he would explode. How could Gin be so dense? “The circumstances of the meeting do nothing to dictate how the friendship evolves. Regardless of your motivations, you were there for me. You carried me through the tough times, and trained me to make sure I would survive when you were gone. It was a harsh lesson, to be sure, but one can make no progress without sacrifice. Regardless of your intentions, you came to care for me. That much I know to be true. You cared for me more than anyone has before or since.”
Kira came to a stop and turned to face his ex-captain. They were close enough that Kira could feel the air that Gin was exhaling upon his skin. The tension was palpable - on one side, there was Gin - a man that was no longer supposed to exist, that kept trying to convince Kira of things that were most certainly not true. On the other, Kira - his disbelief was fading, his fury growing in equal amounts. Kira came to a boiling point and simply couldn’t contain it anymore - with a motion too quick to follow, he reeled back his arm and punched Gin straight in the face.
Kira watched as the man before him fell to a knee. It had certainly felt good to do that. Behind that punch was everything Kira had been feeling up until now - the sadness, the abandonment, the anger - everything pent up into one swift blow. He kneeled down next to his ex-taichou, and lowered his tone significantly. “I told you to stop talking like that. Stop telling me how to feel, how you think I’m rationalizing things. You’re clever, Gin, but you’re not half so clever as you think. You don’t know how I think, what I know, how much I notice. You don’t know what I’ve been through since you’ve been gone. So please, stop being so presumptuous.”
With a small sigh, Kira returned to his feet and turned his back to Gin. “Do whatever the fuck you want, Gin. I’ll keep your damn secret, but I’m not going to waste any more time arguing with a ghost that’s as stubborn as you.” Kira took to pacing again, as much to prevent Gin from seeing the drops forming in his eyes as anything else. The outburst that had just occurred was very uncharacteristic of Kira, and now that it was over he was feeling slightly guilty.
Suddenly reminded that he was no longer as strong as he used to be, Gin’s eyes opened wide as he felt the sting of his ex-Lieutenant’s punch. It didn’t just hurt, no… it carried so much more weight than Izuru was even aware of. Fingers that were curled tightly into an angry fist just so happened to hold all of the strength in the world— all of the personal growth he had gone through when he thought his captain was gone for good, all of the pain, the turmoil, the joy of seeing the ex-Shinigami once more, only to grow resentful for his pessimistic outlook and bitter words. Gin certainly needed a wake up call, and more than anything, he needed to get out of his head.
A hundred years of keeping to himself had severely corrupted his outlook on the world, and even though Gin himself believed he was right in everything he said and felt, he now understood that he wasn’t the only participant in the conversation. That there was another stubborn individual present… one who had only grown more stubborn in his absence.
Suddenly, Gin bursted out into laughter. It was borderline maniacal, but he didn’t care. His sanity seemed to always be up for questioning by others, but the thin ex-Shimigami hardly cared about what others chose to think of him. The creepier and more intimidating he was to his peers, the better. After all, it had always served him well in the past.
The hit stung, but his smile was wide as the throbbing of his jaw served to remind him just how much he was alive after everything that had happened. He had felt like a ghost for so long, going through the motions without any reason to continue on living. He had lost himself so long ago, only to become a walking corpse in the World of The Living. But suddenly… he felt a sense of purpose again.
He wanted to see for himself just how much Izuru had changed.
Getting up off the ground, Gin moved swiftly to grasp Izuru’s shoulders. “Hey now… I think we got off on tha wrong foot, ne? Let’s start over.”
Gin smirked, only this time, he felt a sense of relief wash over him. The boy wasn’t broken. The child he had watched grow into a strong man was still alive. No…. his friend, was still alive. He had survived.
”…Get a drink wit me? Do me a favor an’ forget about yer pals here. Tell ‘em yer occupied. I think we got some real catchin’ up ta do, Izuru-kun.”
…Ya deserve to know tha truth, don’tcha?
Too l a t e to let you know what you mean to me.
Anonymous asked ;
((Can I just say thank you for doing this blog. I haven't been into bleach in a long while but you do an amazing job at the portrayal of your character just wow thank you.))
ooc; aw thank you so much! that is incredibly kind of you to say, and more than encouraging for me to continue writing Gin to the best of my abilities c:
Anonymous asked ;
How've you been, Gin? We miss you. Love your loyal fans <3
Ha, well ain’t that sweet. I’m doing jus’ fine, anonymous.
Ain’t too sure why anyone would be my “fan”, but errr…
well, thank ya~? ^^
|Title: Start at the Beginning|
Artist: Among Savages
Played: 130 times
ℒet us start at the beginning, to
save us from this path we’re treading.Let us start at the beginning,
never know me if you can’t let me in.
Just one more time before I go, I’ll let you know
That all this time I’ve been afraid, wouldn’t let it show
Nobody can save me now.